Getting clarity about decisions is something I worked on with clients frequently over the years. Whether it’s working out what the next move should be jobwise, which training their heart tells them they want to do, how to tackle a tricky situation and even whether they are happy with their life situation as it is.
There’s often a lot of exploration about their current situation and the blocks or barriers that are holding them back. For some they have been cultural barriers where they want to step outside of a more traditionally expected role and do something that makes their heart happy; for others family or partner expectations have been holding them back.
More commonly though, it’s our own simple yet complicated brain sabotaging us and messing everything up!
How does it do that? Well, it’s the little voice in your head that whispers, 'You can’t do it! You’re too stupid/ too old/ too ‘common’ (yes, even in today’s society I’ve had clients who have felt that their upbringing means they are somehow less deserving)/ too poor.'
Or it tells you that nothing ever works out for you, so why bother trying? 'It’s too hard. It will take too long.' and of course, 'You will look stupid if you fail…'
But here’s the thing, it’s all a load of self-sabotaging bollocks designed by your brain to ‘keep you safe’. (I.e. to not have to take a risk.)
Now that’s fine if you are actually truly happy with your life and if you never want anything to change. But ALL change comes with risk.
What if I want to leave the job I hate, but I’m worried about getting a new job?
Well you already hate the job you’ve got, so what have you got to lose?
But what if I try and don’t get it, and people laugh at me?
What if people will secretly admire your bravery to try and escape? What if you only think they are laughing? Or what if the mean things they say on the outside is just cover because they probably hate their job too and secretly wish they had half your courage?
Almost all your negative thoughts are designed to keep you comfy and exactly where you are. Because that’s what your brain knows and what it is used to. But with a little bit of effort you can teach yourself to challenge these thoughts.
I’ve got more on that coming up later this month, but one of the things you can start with, is instead of thinking, 'What if it goes wrong?' try to ask yourself, 'What if it goes right?'
Once you do this, you can start to visualise all the positive changes you can expect if it all goes right, it becomes much easier to say yes.
So, what do you need to ask ‘But what if it goes right?’ to this week?
Photo by Alena Jarrett on Unsplash
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